i've been there

Addiction, as a disease, is marked by relapse like many other diseases. The difference lies in that those relapses in addiction can be of great value to some individuals. To call it a relapse there’s a need to have a period of recovery, and not just abstinence from substances. Anyone who has gone through the liberating experience of recovery, finds it difficult to face the feelings and thoughts associated with relapse.

My name is Fares, I am a recovering addict. Addiction is my disease.

 

I experienced a relapse after a year of recovery. The whole ordeal was not as I expected; I never would have imagined that a former source of such joy would cause such pain.

Two years after recovering from my relapse I decided to photograph addicts who have passed through a similar experience, whether currently, or in the recent past. For the portrayal to be as raw as possible I asked each subject to express their most dominant emotion. I started first with myself and my feelings; fear and paranoia.

During this project the most salient themes I came across were isolation, grief, dissonance, denial, depression, pain,, apathy, worthlessness.

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